Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Hot and Cold Etiquette
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Want to know what not to talk about to a preteen and what to do about excessive air-conditioning? Read on!
Inappropriate conversations with minors
Yesterday while playing tennis with friends, I heard one of the junior coaches asking about "dirty words" while giving a private lesson in the next court. The coach is in his late twenties and the private lesson was to an eleven-year-old girl. At the water cooler, in front of the preteen, I told him his conversation was inappropriate. Then, I overheard him asking her personal questions (including her age) about her family and their residences. He asked very specific questions about her older sister. I was appalled because it was highly inappropriate for a coach to be grilling and victimizing a child, when the parents think he's only talking tennis. After the one hour lesson was over, again in front of her, I told him he should not be asking her personal questions. The three women I was playing with thought I should report the coach to his superiors. Inevitably, he would be fired and I would have been responsible for tainting his career. I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he got the message, but then I think I should turn him in. What should I do? By the way, I don't know the parents.
~Cordelia, East Hampton, NY
Go with your gut feeling. Turn the pervert in. Your anger is justified. This coach shouldn't be around children. Preteens, especially, are beginning to understand that their childhood is coming to an end as they're struggling with new emotions. It is a time for discovery and looking for new perspectives of identities. The child was being victimized by an adult, and you pointed that out. The preteen's parents should be told so that they can reassure her that it is their responsibility to protect her; older men shouldn't be talking about dirty words and asking her personal questions. And should something like this happen again, she should tell her parents immediately.
Since you don't know the child's parents, you don't have any choice but to ask the weirdo's superior to handle the situation and speak directly to the eleven-year-old's parents. Thank him, but gently ask him to report back to you after he's done so.
At a client's home the other day outside of Boston, I thought I would freeze to death. She greeted us saying she had turned the central air conditioning way up so we would be comfortable, but we were all dressed for the steamy, muggy July weather. She greeted us wearing a heavy, snuggly sweater. It didn't seem polite to ask to borrow a sweater to wear over my short, sleeveless dress, or to have her turn down the air-conditioning, because she seemed terribly proud of her frigid house. The cold was a distraction and halfway through the two-hour meeting, I wanted to leave, but suffered in silence for the sake of her business. What should I have done? Neither of my two male colleagues were wearing jackets, or I would have asked to borrow one.
~Anonymous, Boston, MA
Its cultural. It gave your client a certain amount of power and prestige being able to make you shiver. Despite the huge greenhouse-gas emissions issue, many sophisticated office lease holders require chilling capacity air-conditioners. The more upscale the store, the cooler the chill. Counterintuitively, researchers have found that more mistakes are made and employees are less productive when indoor temperature is 68 degrees to 72 degrees, as opposed to the more comfortable 74 to 76. There is actually an app called Comfy where owners of air-conditioners can type in that they're too hot or cold or just fine to learn what you like when and tells the air-conditioning system when to boast or hold back the cold.
Excessive air-conditioning is such a common problem, there are even fashion blogs that show you how to dress for the extremes of entering a cold office building from the suffocating subway. Layering of course is the way to go and there is no better fashion accessory than the summer jacket, which you can keep in your freezing cubicle for when the temperature drops to 68 degrees in August. Look at these cute work outfits from themuse.com.
Do you have a dilemma about love, family and life in general for Didi? Go ahead and "Ask Didi." If your Question is used, we can withhold your name and/or location.
This article was originally published in July 2015
Related Slideshow: Gardens of Eating: Ten Great Outside Brunch Spots
Want to find something worth eating, somewhere worth eating? Enjoy these patios this summer!
With an Asian fusion twist, Isabel Restaurant is an aesthetically sophisticated Pearl restaurant that resembles a cement compound. The ticker: there’s outside seating with views of the blossoming Pearl and of rare historical Portland landmarks. The patio at Isabel is not just serene, but it is also accessible. The weekend wait time here even during the winter (sans a patio) is often nonexistent. Suggestion: the coconut French toast is this restaurant’s staple item. Side-note: this is an ideal dish to split.
330 NW 10th Ave.
Lovejoy Bakers is a modern, Pacific Northwest crack at a French boulangerie and truthfully, the bread and baked goods are up to snuff. Though not technically a brunch spot, Lovejoy Bakers has outside seating that is strategically located to the side of the streetcar and is somewhat empty. Lovejoy Bakers is a great bet for weekend brunch food – with breakfast sandwiches that are both rich and inexpensive. Expect to see many attractive joggers accompanied by adorable dogs while you relax in a glossy lawn chair, absorbing the stunning views of incoming high-rises.
939 NW 10th Ave.
The Hazel Room
Strangely, The Hazel Room is possibly the only brunch restaurant on Hawthorne with outside seating. Its patio is located directly on the front porch of the restaurant, which recalls the signature craftsman romance of southeast Portland. The Hazel Room is full of items both for omnivores and herbivores: here you can order delectable vegan (and gluten free) French toast or if you’re into animals, you can grab the breakfast bruschetta with bacon. The wait here might be a bit longer than the suggestions listed in NW Portland, but the wait is still tame compared to local brunch strongholds like Screen Door or Mother’s Bistro.
3279 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
If you are a bloody Mary fan interested in an exhaustive drink menu, Tin Shed has got your back. Located along the heart of northeast Alberta and nicknamed the "garden café ," Tin Shed looks pretty much as you would expect: but within the walls of this metal craftsman, there lies culinary mastery. With a happy even of brunch, lunch, and dinner options, Tin Shed is great for all customers who possess diverse taste buds. Still, if you’re looking to get a little feisty midday, try one of Tin Shed’s cocktails. After all, what brunch enthusiast doesn’t want to try a bacon-infused bloody Mary or the “tin toddy,” with cinnamon-infused whiskey? Though these drinks are strong, it is likely you’ll memorize the taste and yearn for more.
1438 NE Alberta St.
Because who doesn’t love breakfast in a gazebo? Meriwether’s Restaurant & Skyline Farm has one of the most impressive outdoor patios in all of Portland with a sentimental garden theme wrought with iron tables, fresh bouquets, and even a sparkling fountain. It’s like Valentine’s Day all year round. The brunch menu is also striking: try an amenable type of eggs benedict or perhaps the brioche French toast. Also, Meriwether’s hosts a marionberry-flavored lemonade. Yum.
2601 NW Vaughn St.
Fried Egg I’m In Love
As the food cart with one of the catchiest titles, Fried Egg I’m In Love is also a fan favorite among locals for its character as well as its taste. With a cute connecting patio enveloped by wooden beams, Fried Egg I’m In Love mostly specializes in breakfast sandwiches. But these things are good: really good. And the names of the items are also fun, like you might expect (e.g. the “Smells Like Protein Spirit”). Surprisingly, this food cart also possesses some mimosa options. Most Portlanders can respect a food cart with booze: this is a rare as well as a hot commodity. Also, in typical food cart fashion, the lines for this place are not long. At least, they're shorter than a sit-down restaurant. However, beware: due to the sheer size of the food cart and the number of cooks, you might still end up waiting thirty minutes for your food.
3207 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
Looking for a brunch spot located on a rooftop? Look no further. Radio Room is one of northeast Alberta’s trendy bar elite, but it also extends an expansive food menu that satisfies all portions of the day. In particular, the weekend brunch menu includes foods that incorporate Radio Room’s nighttime attitude (e.g. alcohol). Try the “Flap Jack Kerouac,” for example, which is a short stack of pancakes topped with mixed berries and bourbon maple syrup. Also, you can buy one mimosa for $5 or a pint of mimosa for $12. Decisions, decisions.
1101 NE Alberta St.
John Street Café
Many eyes are beginning to fixate on developing North Portland. Still, “No Po” (as it is aptly named) has its own charm and also its own brunch notoriety. Its main draw: John Street Café. Why? Garden patio. John Street Café possesses fluffy and flavorful omelettes, made in-house jam fresh from the vine, and an all-day breakfast menu (making brunch possible even into the evening). Also, outside seating here is adorable. Escape from your apartment and dine in the garden. Fresh flowers next to your orange juice make for classy Instagram photos.
8338 N Lombard St.
Want to try French toast stuffed with farmers’ cheese, shaved ham, pear compote, and maple syrup? What about gingerbread pancakes? North Light on Mississippi is brunch-centric and it's good at it. Don’t worry: there is a lunch menu too for the non-believers. The patio is new and slightly Scandinavian: perfect for those looking for something inviting and sunny, even in the rain.
3746 N Mississippi Ave.
Though many people view Veritable Quandary as a dinner joint where you can really only afford drinks, Veritable Quandary also hosts an impressive brunch menu. Though the prices are high, Veritable Quandary has an outdoor garden patio overgrown with ivy that is reminiscent of old New York. However, the patio won’t be around for long, so you should visit while it's present. The city plans on building over part of it.
1220 SW 1st Ave.
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