Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Blue Tuxedo + Other Updates

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Thursday, February 26, 2015

Didi Lorillard, GoLocal24 Manners + Etiquette Expert

Wedding Etiquette + The Blue Tuxedo

After watching all those colorful tuxedos on the red carpet at the Oscars last night, we’re thinking about my fiancé and his groomsmen wearing navy blue tuxedos at our fall wedding. What is the etiquette on tuxedos that are not black? 

~Fiancée, Providence

More and more, the standard black wedding tuxedo is shunned in favor of a tuxedo in midnight blue, royal blue, navy blue, off-white, beige, grey, and even deep red. The groom sets the dress code for the groomsmen, which means if he is wearing a navy blue tuxedo, his groomsmen will follow suit.

From Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne in midnight blue to fellow British ‘Selma’ star David Ovelowo donning deep red, colorful tuxedos studded the red carpet in an array of vivid and soft tones -- all equally stunning on stage.

Choice of color reflects the season or the climate. LA’s mild weather means any color goes. On the other hand, in the depths of a northern winter, beige, light blue and off-white tuxedos would look silly, because they’re too summery looking.

You would not inconvenience your male guests by listing a mandatory dress code such as ‘Navy Blue Tuxedo.’ A well-mannered host would give guests the unspoken option of wearing a standard tuxedo or best business suit by not listing a dress code on the invitation — however, you could list the dress code on your wedding website — for example, by simply using ‘Business Suits.’ 

~Didi

Who Wears Suspenders?

My father wears suspenders and my grandfather wore suspenders, but who wears them now? They are so cool, I would like to give them a go, but how do I know which are right for me? I am forty-five and wear business suits five days a week, although the dress code at my office loosens on Fridays. My partner and I have an active social life, which calls for suits as well as blazers and sport jackets. 

~Thomas, Manhattan

Suspender wearers are dashing lookers, and, yes, forty-five is just the right age to start wearing them. They reek of success. Nevertheless, there are serious dos and don'ts.

For instance, you wouldn't wear suspenders, also called braces, with metal clips in the front and back. Instead, suspenders/braces should have buttonholes in leather and the trousers have to have buttons on the inner waistband. Ideally the suspender fabric, which would be silk or felt, should not be too narrow.

For a cool guide to wearing suspenders/braces, Antonio Centeno is  an authority. To learn more, here is a link to his helpful infographic, 'How To Properly Wear Suspenders?'

To find up-to-date suspenders/braces, go to the Paul Stuart website and click on Belts + Braces. 

~Didi

What's Up With Plaid?

Not sure about plaids, when to wear or not wear. Casual Fridays? Out on a dinner date? 

~Zoe, Newark, N.J.

A limited amount of plaid in small grids is chic. Especially in combos of beige-brown or gray-navy. Think Burberry — where you hardly see the plaid lining of the trench coat until it is unbuttoned. A red tartan evening gown would be too much of a good thing. Try to avoid a plaid that has bright contrasting colors with a wide grid — because it will make you look much larger than you are.  People in show business under thirty wear bright plaids to catch the eye of the paparazzi.

Honestly, it is the tight black and white glen plaid — that looks grey from a distance — that is the plaid nobody tires of -- ever. Especially on a blouse worn with a well-fitted pantsuit or as a slim fitting skirt paired with a white or black top. The best match with a plaid or tartan is solid black or white. The plaid or tartan of a well-cut slim blazer, skirt, or slacks are fine, but avoid it on billowing sleeves and puffy skirts. For men, a plaid bathrobe is hard to lose sight of, but bright red plaid trousers and blazers are really a bit much.

Mixing plaids with florals and animal prints is hard to pull off, unless in apparel by Etro or Roberto Cavalli. However, a pop of plaid as a bag, scarf, tie, socks or women's shoes can be festively warming and playful. 

~Didi

Shirttail étiquette

How do I know when it's alright to leave my shirttails out? For instance on casual Fridays, can I leave my shirt out or do I have to tuck it in? Same when meeting up with my fiancée's parents, who are kind of casual, but also old-fashioned. On a buisness trip, can I relax and leave my shirt out after work hours when hanging with colleagues, or not? Some take their shirt out, some leave it in. 

~Anonymous, Providence

'Manners maketh man,' should include shirttail etiquette. Men mistakenly think that leaving shirttails out makes them appear more youthful. Well it isn't true, the skinny on this myth is that loose tails make a man look fatter.  Athletes like David Beckham can get away with their shirttails out -- because who would even notice the shirttails -- nevertheless, other men in the public eye like Brad Pitt opt for keeping their shirttails securely belted into their trousers.

With your shirttails hanging out you would look like you were trying to still be a teenager who doesn't know any better. Nor do you want to go for the stylishly rumpled look by wearing your tails under a jacket or with a business suit, because you'll then look as though you pulled an all-nighter -- and I don't mean at the office.

The simple rule is this. Any shirt with tails is meant to be tucked in. Shirts with a flat bottom hem are designed to be worn untucked. However, a Hawaiian shirt or polo shirt can go either way. When in doubt, a shirt with visible tails -- that is not even all the way around the bottom hem of the shirt -- looks tidier tucked in.

Are you thinking about wearing a polo shirt to work on casual Friday? Tucking it in looks ever so slightly more business-like -- but don't forget to wear a belt.

The etiquette is all about getting the shirt to stay in your trousers, so make sure you buy shirts that fall at least four to five inches below the waistline of your trousers. Otherwise your shirt is likely to ride up and fold over your belt. Slim-fitting shirts are easier to keep tucked into your trousers -- especially when worn with a tightly cinched belt.

Don't get caught up in the style-trap apparent on men of a certain age, who think it's cool to tuck in one tail and leave the other out dangling in the wind -- to presumably hide their beer or wheat belly. The 'Beckham half-tuck' looks good only on a man in as good shape as David Beckham -- and especially don't think of it, if you're over 25 and are not a professional soccer player.

For detailed expert advice on the etiquette on how men should dress, search 'Shirt Tails' on The Art of Manliness.

~Didi

Do you have a dilemma about love, family and life in general for Didi? Go ahead and "Ask Didi."  If your Question is used, we can withhold your name and/or location. 

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