Mum’s the Word: How to Stop Instantly Rewarding Your Toddler
Friday, June 19, 2015
As a paranoid mother who feared I had birthed the one child who would still be in diapers in college, I tried many different things to get her to potty in the toilet.
Relying heavily on the reward system, I found myself offering her stickers, ice cream, KITTENS, and even a vacation on a pirate ship if only she would use the potty.
After a few months, though, I relaxed. Not surprisingly, as soon as I backed off, Lia began to whisper in my ear, “I need to go potty."
With joy, I moonwalked with her down the hallway, plopped her down on the potty, and handed her a small (fine it was big) piece of candy as her reward.
I’m not the only parent who uses the reward system, and I’m also not the only parent who uses the reward system for things other than a properly disposed of bowel movement.
Haven’t you ever heard a parent say to their child, “Sit through your brother’s dance recital and afterwards…. we’ll get ice cream?”
But what happens when our kids are no longer in diapers and out of control emotionally?
What happens when they begin to transition emotionally and can handle the bitter truth that eventually people behave well just because it feels good to do good things and not because there’s a possible lollipop in their future.
Okay, maybe some people only behave because The Green Mile did a pretty outstanding job of making prison look like a terrible time…but I like to think it’s because most people just want to be good.
Many parents have asked these questions in Facebook Statuses, Tweets, or articles. Indeed, we have all run into the confusing problem of having our Apple product troubleshooting toddlers ask their parent for an ice cream cone in exchange for peeing in a large porcelain bowl.
“What’s my reward?” Lia asks.
“You, my dear, get the satisfaction of having dry pants.”
Can I say that?
Well, I did once. Since it did not go over so well, I began to do some research and experimenting. So here are a few tips on things to remember while cutting back on or eliminating the reward system.
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Related Slideshow: Mum’s the Word: How to Stop Instantly Rewarding Your Toddler
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