High Times for the Pizza Lobby: Why Legalizing Marijuana is a Bad Idea

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Scott Bruun, GoLocalPDX MINDSETTER™

photo credit: iStock

It seems, at least as far as the political lobbying world is concerned, that a great opportunity is being missed.

I mean, when you see an obvious political opportunity, one that needs entrepreneurial talent to organize and mobilize, you form an interest group, right?

So why hasn’t some young, enterprising lobbyist out of Salem done this yet for the next big thing in Oregon?

Let me help. First, form a new interest group and call it the Northwest Association of Pizzerias. Remember, of course, that in political lobbying, memorable acronyms are vital (think AARP, OEA, NRA). With the new group, the acronym “NAPs” is not only easy to remember, it’s ultimately descriptive.

Next, once you’ve organized NAPs, call or email every pizza joint in Oregon. Pay particular attention to the ones by college campuses, near downtown Portland, and anywhere in Ashland. Sign the owners up for a nominal monthly retainer.

Consider this: you charge each pizzeria in Oregon, say, $25 a month. Maybe a thousand or so pizza places in Oregon.

Wow, new BMW and Pearl condo, here you come!

And your sales pitch is easy. Just tell them that, should Oregon’s recreational marijuana ballot measure pass in November – something a good lobbyist and association membership can help assure – then their business is guaranteed to explode.

It certainly will give the term “pizza joint” a whole new meaning.

Increases in pizza sales

Come to think of it, not only will the dramatic increases in pizza, fast food and sundry munchies sales create all sorts of local economic and culinary benefits, we will also likely see wonderful societal benefits as well.

For example, if the marijuana ballot measure passes, imagine these future headlines: “Road Rage Down 78 Percent in the Portland Metropolitan Area.”

Or, “Blazers Win World Championship, No Riots Ensue.”

Yes, all will be well, and well fed, here at home. Our little Amsterdam on the Willamette.

Or will it?

It’s still too early to look to the recent legalization of recreational marijuana in both Washington and Colorado for insight as to how the same would play out in Oregon - the laboratories of democracy, in this case, have simply not had enough time to provide any real wisdom.

But the scientific evidence that recreational marijuana is a really bad choice is easy to find. In fact, it’s overwhelming.

For example, a June 2014 piece in the New England Journal of Medicine (“Adverse Health Effects of Marijuana”) describes evidence connecting long-term use and addiction. The same piece also describes “impaired neural connectivity, decreased activity in prefrontal regions, significant declines in IQ, diminished life satisfaction, and increased risk of chronic psychosis disorders.”

In fact, about the only thing the journal piece does not tie to marijuana use is increased pizza consumption. On that, anecdotal evidence will have to suffice.

Anecdotal evidence

Speaking of anecdotal evidence, one doesn’t need a fancy medical journal or mountains of scientific data to articulate the obvious: marijuana makes you dumb. Ouch! Too judgmental, too stereotyping you say?

Well, think back and remember the active pot-smoking people you knew from high school or college. Mensa? Didn’t think so.

Of course, some continue to argue that marijuana use is, whether legal or illegal, “victimless.”

They argue that, if it hurts anyone at all (unlikely, proponents say), then it only hurts the person who chose to use it.

And sure, it is easy to concede the point that the infrequent, low-dose user is probably not our biggest societal challenge. Yet, at the same time, isn’t it equally easy to see that legalizing marijuana in Oregon will likely expand overall use by the heretofore illegal user?

Won’t it also compel a certain law-abiding portion of our population to try (and a sub portion of that group to continue trying) marijuana?

I mean, why not? It is legal, right?

And this is exactly why Oregon should reject legalization. It’s simply not credible to believe that expanded and legal usage of a drug that causes “significant declines in IQ, diminished life satisfaction, and increased risk of chronic psychosis disorders” will not create great societal costs.

Marijuana is a gateway. A gateway to addiction; a gateway to use of other illegal drugs; and a gateway to the social pathologies that we all loath.

Pathologies that the people of Oregon will be made to pay for.

Scott Bruun is a fifth-generation Oregonian and recovering politician. He lives with his family in the 'burbs, yet dutifully commutes to Portland every day where he earns his living on the fifth floor of Big Pink.

Banner Photo Credit: iStock