Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Beyond the Headlines
Monday, September 22, 2014
Despite years of activism, work and commitment there are still too many women who get beaten up by the men that they love.
The issue of domestic violence hit the headlines recently as NFL players have been charged and/or convicted of spousal abuse.
Out of the headlines, there are millions of other victims.
According to a report published by the National Network to End Domestic Violence, (NNEDV) in 2013, domestic violence and sexual assault continues to be a pervasive and a life threatening issue affecting millions of individuals across the USA regardless of age, economic status, race, religion or education:
To put it starkly:
• Over one in three women in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and
• Around 15.5 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year.
Domestic violence programs do not always know when a survivor courageously calls a stranger to ask for a bed or other help when the services are not available. However 65% of programs report that victims are forced to return to the abuser, 50% report that victims become homeless and 21% of families are forced to live in their car.
An individual story
The West Women’s and Children’s Domestic Violence shelter is one of several based in Portland providing support and emergency services to this vulnerable population. It has been operating for over 30 years.
Here is an uplifting story of the transformative effect that these services provided by the West can have on one victim. I hope that this will inspire more Oregonians to volunteer their time and /or their dollars to this issue.
In July 2013, one of the calls received on the West’s crisis line was from “Amy”, a 28 year-old African American mother who had previously resided in the West’s emergency accommodation in 2008.
She recounted how she had moved out of the West to stable housing accommodation. Amy was working and parenting her children for six months when her abuser and the father of her children reappeared in her life. He seemed to be genuinely interested in the welfare of his family. Amy’s “abuser” soon manipulated her into resuming a relationship and he moved into her apartment mid 2009.
After giving birth to a third child in 2010, the abuse began again. Amy endured the treatment for three more years, before she was able to reach out again.
Abuse included strangulation and many visits to the ER, and her being locked in a closet. Eventually, police involvement, and injury which required medical attention led her to leave her abuser, file for a restraining order and seek shelter via the West’s 24-hour crisis line.
Due to the life threatening nature of her situation, she was given immediate accommodation for her and her three children, all under age nine.
Her family received, amongst other things, support in the form of a family advocate who ensured the protection order was served, her belongings safely removed from the apartment and advocated for a domestic violence grant via the Department of Human Services.
When a long-term supportive and subsidized housing program came up, the West thought of Amy. The family faced barriers due to domestic violence, unemployment and ongoing safety issues.
With the help of her advocate, Amy was able to renegotiate past debt and reach a reasonable accommodation addressing housing barriers due to Domestic Violence. Amy and her family are now in permanent housing. They could not have reached this goal with out the supportive and nurturing services provided by this shelter.
Overwhelming needs remain
While the United States has come a long way in meeting the needs of victims, there remains a significant gap between funding and the demand for services.
As more and more victims courageously request services to escape from life threatening situations, it is essential that their needs be met.
For the past eight years, the annual census conducted by the NNEDV has documented the daily successes and struggles that programs face while assisting victims who come to their doors seeking refuge and safety.
During those eight years, the country has experienced severe economic upheaval resulting in substantial funding cuts at the federal state and local levels. Sadly, those cuts have forced many programs to close or reduce their services. Yet at the same time, there has been an increased demand for assistance.
While programs continue to provide services to meet a growing demand, and go to incredible efforts to offer support, resources are spread thin.
Education is the key to ending domestic violence. Prevention initiatives such as educating students and young adults on healthy relationships and the signs of controlling behavior is a crucial step in preventing abuse and breaking the cycle of violence.
Programs that discuss the topic with students of all ages to enhance their understanding of bullying, dating behavior and sexual harassment is a vital first step in spreading the message and raising awareness of this terrible issue. These trainings also let students affected to know that they are not alone and where they can seek help if necessary.
What can we do to help locally?
➢ Volunteer your time at a shelter or 24 hour crisis line;
➢ Donate dollars and goods and supplies to a shelter or emergency housing
➢ Raise awareness through outreach in the schools;
➢ If a friend or family member is a victim, be a supportive listener and encourage them to contact the Portland Women’s Crisis Line at 503 235 5333
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. But year-round, ordinary women and children are the victims of domestic violence, and they don’t make the news. Let them know they matter.
Nicola Silverstone works as a career specialist for PCC and is based at Worksource Portland Central. She's a member of the council at he West Women and Children's Shelter.
Homepage photo credit: Seniju on Flickr. Creative Commons License. Image cropped.
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