Leather Storrs: Why Portlanders Need to Pay Up at Restaurants

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Leather Storrs, GoLocalPDX Contributor

Photo credit: iStock

Portlanders have been cheap for a long time. My father used to say “If you want to know the richest guy in the room, look for the oldest sport coat.” Richard Nelson, a long-time assistant to James Beard and one of my earliest teachers loved to say “Beard had deep pockets and short arms”. So whether it was for reasons of propriety or parsimony, locals have been historically opposed to spending money and especially in ways that are showy.

Let those new money techies up north buy Islands and Pro teams. Let the dot-commers in Northern California blow up land prices like tulips. We’ll be smug in socks and sandals as we bike to our local café for sustainable, hand harvested goodies and grass fed beef raised by former rat-racers who finally “get it.”

But who is really getting it? Local restaurants. That’s who.

The demand for hand-made, earth friendly food is not informed by an understanding of the costs associated with procurement and production. Portlanders want chronic, but at shwag prices.

Mathematical Interlude:

Understanding restaurant math is pretty simple. Average daily number of butts in seats equals “covers”. Average amount each cover pays is called “check average”. Check average times covers equals gross profit. Subtract the cost of running your restaurant and you have “profit” (ideally).

There are three ways to make more money: increase covers and/or check average or decrease the cost of running your restaurant.

Increasing covers and check averages is nice, but frowned upon- “You mean I have to wait in line for the privilege of paying more money?” Unfortunately, the cost of running restaurants is going up and there is an Elephant in the distance made of a 50% increase in the minimum wage. To paraphrase Winston Churchill: Portland is making Republicans out of Restaurateurs.

My formula for menu pricing is simple: protein cost times four. If a 6 ounce piece of wild, line caught Chinook Salmon costs $8, the price on the menu is $32. See what I mean? Some of you just recoiled. Add to this the increasing cost of organic produce grown or foraged by PhD’s and you should probably tack on $3. Oh yeah, I need to pass on the delivery fee charged by all of my purveyors and fold in the cost of the City’s increasing taxes. Did I mention that both beef and butter have doubled in cost? Let’s add three more. Assume also, for the sake of shock value, the $15 minimum wage is in effect. Ouch, that’s another five bucks. How much is that fish dish? $43. Zoinks!

Complicating matters further is the fact that your perception as a consumer is influenced by low-priced loss leaders at your grocery store and $13.99 surf and turf entrees from big chains. Shoot, Burgerville will fill you up and make you feel good for under $10! How on earth can we compete?

We need an ally, a white knight, a passionate champion. We need YOU. This is not a license to gouge. This is a rallying cry. If you want the best we can give you and the best of our region, pay up. If you want fantastic, creative compositions that satisfy your stomach and your soul, pay up. If you want Portland to continue its emergence as one of the finest culinary cities in the land, vote with your dollars! Your wage has gone up, your rent has too. College tuition has tripled since I graduated. It’s probably time to buy a new sport coat.

Leather Storrs is an Oregon native who has served 20 years in professional kitchens. He owns a piece of two area restaurants: Noble rot and nobleoni at Oregon College of Art and Craft, where he yells and waves arms. He quietly admits to having been a newspaper critic in Austin, Texas and Portland.

Banner Photo Credit: iStock