slides: Professional Cuddler Samantha Hess Extends Her 15 Minutes
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Friday, June 19, 2015
Chris Vetter, GoLocalPDX Contributor
Samantha Hess on America's Got Talent. Photo courtesy of NBC.
As rival companies sprang out of the woodwork, professional cuddler Samantha Hess needed to distinguish herself from the competition. She extended her 15 minutes of fame by reinventing herself as an author and reality television star. This is the inside story behind Cuddle Up To Me.
Inside Cuddle Up To Me | Part Two
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As professional cuddler Samantha Hess achieved acclaim, copycats sprang up across the country. Media stories circulated about her competitors. As her publicist, I worried Samantha would get lost in the shuffle. One cuddler is a celebrity. Multiple cuddlers are an Amway convention.
We needed a hook to confirm her status as the de facto authority in her chosen profession. On January 6, 2014, I was restless and watched a late-night news special about U.S. General David Petraeus. The announcer introduced him as “the man who wrote the book on counterinsurgency.” That phrase stuck in my head and the following morning I knew how we would position Samantha as the leader of her industry. She would write the book on professional cuddling. I could schedule her on national talk shows, introducing her to a wider audience. To my delight, Samantha embraced the idea. We had to work quickly to take advantage of recent publicity.
Photo by Joe Wilson
We gave ourselves a month to complete the project. We hoped to release our opus by February 14 to take advantage of holiday sales. Two weeks into the project my kidneys failed and I was hospitalized for weeks. In my absence, Samantha labored night-and-day on the book, sending me completed chapters to review from my windowless hospital room. After I left the medical facility we finished the manuscript. I quickly designed the book and sent it to the printer.
We published Touch: The Power of Human Connection on April 4, 2014. Samantha told the story of her failed marriage and how a lack of intimacy drove her apart from her husband. She offered relationship advice and modeled various cuddling positions. My business partner Derek McLain hired his brother Kelly to shoot the photos. Despite his nepotism, the black-and-white images were gorgeous. The book earned strong reviews across the country and a five-star rating on Amazon. Our initial print run sold out overnight. I was incredibly proud of Samantha. The book fueled her promotional appearances, confirming her role as the undisputed leader of the professional cuddling movement.
Talk Show Trouble
Photo by Joe Wilson
Several programs including The Steve Harvey Show contacted us about a sit-down interview on daytime television. A 15-minute network appearance could sell thousands of books and we leapt at the opportunity. Every program had an exclusivity clause. For example, if we booked Samantha on The Today Show she could not appear on Kelly Ripa for six months. Limited to a single appearance, we chose
The Doctors on CBS, a Dr. Phil spin-off that promised to treat Samantha like a quasi-medical professional. Steve Harvey wanted to chase Samantha around a couch. I wanted her to be taken seriously. Senior Associate Producer Nick Birren sent Samantha a plane ticket and scheduled hotel reservations for Los Angeles. Two days before her appearance, The Doctors canceled without explanation. By that time we had declined invitations to appear on other shows and had egg on our face. Adding insult to injury, Birren approached Samantha a second time to appear on the show — and canceled again.
This is why I no longer watch daytime television.
Potential investors from across the country learned about Cuddle Up To Me and helped us capitalize our retail store. Given the controversial nature of our business, it took months to find a landlord who would rent to us. After renovations, Samantha designed four theme rooms and hired a team of professional cuddlers. Samantha chose three outstanding women — whose names are omitted here to protect their privacy — from a field of more than 900 local candidates and more than 3000 applicants nationwide. She also developed a training system that evolved into Certified Cuddlers, an international accreditation program for professional snugglers.
Photo by Carla Axtman
After months of breaking even, Cuddle Up To Me is in the black. Samantha plans to hire more cuddlers — including some men — and expand her operation. Beyond snuggling, her other services include
self-help classes, personal coaching and dating advice. "Her career as a professional cuddler seems to be working out for her," said Portland public relations guru Gary Conkling. "This publicity has given her startup business a giant boost."
Last February, Samantha launched Cuddle Con, the first international gathering of cuddling enthusiasts and professionals. With minimal time for planning, I fretted our turnout would be low. Roughly 250 people participated, some traveling from international destinations. When the media arrived we somehow pulled it off. Coverage of the event made international news, reaching an estimated six million people.
Reality Television Star
Touch book cover by Chris Vetter
More than a dozen production companies from New York and Los Angeles offered to develop a reality show for Samantha. We inked a contract with the producers of Millionaire Matchmaker, The Real Housewives of New York City and Bad Girls Club. We cast the show, shot a promotional film, plotted out a full season of episodes and pitched the one-hour docudrama to multiple cable channels. Amusingly, the producers cast me as the villain of The Cuddler. I was to portray a hard-driving business manager who valued profits over people. The development process for reality television is surreal. I initially believed video crews recorded actual events and manipulated the footage through clever editing. In actuality, show runners tell reality stars what to do and say. Scenes are shot several times from multiple angles to provide editors with ample footage for post-production. It is totally artificial.
Our team in Los Angeles worked hard to sell the show but the local production crew that shot our sizzle reel let us down. They delivered documentary-style footage instead of a narrative-driven drama that would appeal to television executives. I did not trust my instincts enough to insist on shooting a second film. This was my first television development project and my inexperience made me hesitant to challenge the expertise of the production team. I was too polite and should have fought harder for our vision of the show. Fortunately, another production company plans to develop a pilot for Samantha and she is likely to appear in a series next year.
Chris Vetter by Sara Gray
On May 26, Samantha appeared on
America’s Got Talent, a variety show with an audience of 12 million people. She somehow persuaded all four judges to join host Nick Cannon on a red velvet couch to snuggle with her. She received three out of four votes and should appear again later this season. We originally planned to send a team of cuddlers but AGT executives insisted Samantha appear without an entourage. Producers short-circuited the standard audition process and guaranteed her a spot on the show. They discovered Samantha in a syndicated news article. She was accompanied to her performance in New Jersey by her boyfriend Jake Gudger, who made a brief cameo on the broadcast. Samantha is also featured in a Travel Channel series called “Watt’s World” that airs Tuesday, July 14 at 10:30 p.m. We packaged her with
Wanderlust Circus to showcase local talent.
In the near future, Samantha plans to open cuddling centers in cities beyond Portland. Derek considered a rapid expansion plan fueled by capital from a deep-pockets Texas-based millionaire but worried we were biting off more than we could chew. Samantha is fiercely independent and maintains controlling interest in her company. Beneath her sunny exterior she is a shrewd businesswoman who takes no prisoners. Two years ago she was pounding signs into telephone poles to promote her company. Today she manages a thriving business with a global media presence. The ruthless efficiency of modern journalism means almost anyone can achieve fame. Just show some initiative, be passionate about your craft and get yourself a great publicist.
Back to the Beginning: The Inside Story Behind Cuddle Up To Me
Chris Vetter is the former Marketing Director of Cuddle Up To Me and the former editor of Inside Portland Magazine. His new marketing company Modern Media Machine launches later this year.
Related Slideshow: The Cuddlers Reality Television Show
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Samantha Hess inked a reality show development deal with the creators of Housewives of New York. That contract expired last month and the show stalled. What follows is a list of characters and episode outlines for the one-hour docudrama The Cuddlers.
Samantha Hess: Founder of Cuddle Up To Me
The woman who launched an industry
Devastated by the lack of affection in her first marriage, Samantha became a professional cuddler to improve relationships and help people rediscover intimacy. She appeared in over 300 interviews, reaching 47 million people in the past 18 months. Samantha wrote a book about cuddling that received rave reviews. She hired a team of cuddlers to launch her iconic company.
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Heather: The Protégé
A mountain climber and outdoor adventurer with a head for business
After surviving a four-step interview process that lasted months, Heather quickly developed a reputation as a workhorse. As the company expands, she plans to open new stores in other cities. A polyamorous lesbian, Heather has a background in mental health. This comes in handy given the unrelenting pace of life as a professional cuddler.
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Ray: The Doctor
A brilliant and socially-conscious African-American physician
Ray is inches away from becoming a naturopathic doctor. She works part-time at a medical clinic in Portland. A peacemaker who honors the human body, Ray soothes her clients with words of wisdom and a soft caress. Wise beyond her years, she is an old soul destined to transform lives across the city. Samantha considers her a key ally.
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Kira: The Adorable Mystic
A spiritual wanderer who loves life
Guided by the stars, deeply metaphysical yoga master Kira is the life force of Cuddle Up To Me. Originally from Florida, she sees the world through a different lens, constantly aware of the human energies that surround us. She knew she found her home the moment she touched down in Portland. Single and searching for love, will the men she dates accept her profession?
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Jake: The Boyfriend
A quirky entrepreneur who is easy on the eyes
After a whirlwind romance, Jake fell for Samantha and is her port in the storm. He promotes a product called The Pillow Cape, a neck cushion for traveling that has a cape attached to it. The idea spring from a childhood love for superheroes that spilled into his adult life. Now inseparable, Jake works tirelessly to please the woman he loves.
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Chris: The Villain
The scheming business partner who values profits over people
A counterpoint to the wide-eyed idealism of Samantha, Chris makes sure the trains run on time. He wants to make Samantha a household name and he will stop at nothing to help her achieve global fame. Manipulative and driven, his ruthless business tactics sometimes rub Samantha the wrong way. Will his raw ambition someday threaten the company?
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Episode One: “Cuddling Is Serious Business”
The company debuts in a state of chaos
After weeks of rigorous training, Samantha is finally ready to allow her three employees to cuddle with real clients. A massive computer glitch causes scheduling mishaps and confusion. Chris angrily summons an information technology team to manage the crisis only to discover they are incompetent. Samantha channels her inner diva as she fusses over decorating the office.
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Episode Two: “Backlash”
An anonymous stalker pushes Samantha to the edge
After a successful grand opening and citywide media attention, both admirers and haters come out of the woodwork. A troll bullies Samantha online, driving her to the breaking point. Chris hires an investigator to track down the troll. The identity of the culprit shocks everyone. Jake takes Samantha on a romantic river cruise to forget her troubles. Kira is pressured for a date by a client.
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Episode Three: "Cuddle Con"
While promoting Cuddle Con, Samantha meets an unusual crowd
Overwhelmed by preparations for her first international cuddling convention, Samantha asks her fellow cuddlers to step up and manage the company. Chris pushes the idea of setting a Guinness Book World Record for the largest group cuddle. Samantha speaks at a promotional event only to discover her audience is a group of furries.
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Episode Four: “New Recruits”
The women embrace gender equality
With more business than her team can handle, Samantha posts an ad online recruiting additional cuddlers. The response is overwhelming and the cuddlers work around the clock to coordinate the hiring process. The women opt to hire male snugglers. A client invites all four women to watch him perform at a local circus..
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Episode Five: “House Call”
Kira takes the team to a yoga class
After an emotional plea from the mother of a client with ALS, Samantha opens the business to house calls. With an influx of new employees, Kira takes the group to an acrobatic yoga class as a group bonding exercise. Ray misses a client appointment when she gets stuck with a patient at a medical office. The client angrily confronts Ray, causing a scene.
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Episode Six: “The Business Trip”
Heather endures a jealous rage from her female lover
Samantha and Chris hop on a flight to Miami to meet a potential business partner who wants to open a similar company in South Florida. She leaves her business plan at the office and must enlist the help of Kira to track it down in time for the meeting. While cuddling with an attractive female client, one of the women Heather is dating arrives at the office and throws a jealous tantrum.
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Episode Seven: “Competition”
Mounting stress is tearing the company apart
Samantha discovers another professional cuddling shop is opening in town. Will the new company take clients away from Cuddle Up To Me? Heather, Ray and Kira are not meshing with some of the new hires, causing internal unrest. Chris finds himself juggling too many responsibilities and drops the ball on an important project. Samantha is not happy, resulting in an ugly confrontation.
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Episode Eight: “Trouble on the Home Front”
Jake and Samantha find themselves growing apart
Samantha and Chris patch things up. Jake feels neglected as Samantha devotes most of her time to running her company. He demands she cancel an appointment to spend time with him and she ignores his request. Are they about to break-up? An old college girlfriend visits the office and shocks Chris with an offer he is unable to refuse.
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Episode Nine: “Courting the Cuddlers”
Chris and Samantha consider selling the business
A large firm from San Francisco attempts to recruit Chris and Samantha to develop a national cuddling chain. They want to purchase the business and turn the company into a franchise. Rumors swirl that the cuddlers may lose their jobs in the transition. Samantha reaches out to her mother for personal and business advice. Jake and Samantha share a romantic dinner downtown.
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Episode Ten: “Civil War”
Samantha and Chris battle for control of the company
Ray is forced to spend more time at the medical clinic and misses several client appointments. Samantha questions her dedication. They have a heart-to-heart talk. After rejecting an offer for a corporate takeover, Samantha and Chris quarrel over the future of the company. Chris is convinced that international publicity has swollen her head. Samantha believes he is hopelessly arrogant.
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