Mum’s the Word: A Survival Guide for the Imperfect Parent
Friday, July 10, 2015
I gulped reading this and wondered things like, “On a scale of one to Norman Bates' mother, how am I doing?” Photo Credit: IMDB (Image Cropped)
In this non-linear play, the story of the Bechdel family is told through the eyes of three different “Alisons.” Young Alison, College-age Alison, and Middle-Age Alison all struggle to understand the things that took place during childhood.
Not understanding why her father doesn’t seem to enjoy being a parent, Young Alison sings, “Daddy, listen to me, listen to me…I want to play airplane.”
Even in her forties, Middle-Age Alison still struggles to process the neglect and emotional abuse of her childhood.
More importantly, though, she yearns to have one last meaningful conversation with her father.
Watching the play, I was in the curious position where I could completely identify with both the little girl and the little girl’s parents.
As I identified more and more with the parents, I worried about how my own parenting techniques were affecting my daughter.
The paranoia increased when, after the play, I read this article on how there’s an association between certain parenting styles and the increase of depression in college-aged children.
Since I’m a glutton for punishment, I went on to read an additional article from the APA site that once more brought up the association between certain parenting styles and children with poor mental health or problematic behavior.
According to the author, certain parenting styles that are either overly permissive or neglectful can result in children who display “irresponsibility, impulsivity, dependency, lack of persistence, unreasonable expectations and demands and dishonesty.”
I gulped reading this and wondered things like, “On a scale of one to Norman Bates' mother, how am I doing?”
I was like a hypochondriac reading WebMD, a hypochondriac who was on the verge of heading to the emergency room for having a self-diagnosed disease cocktail of diphtheria, shin splints, and a previously undiscovered air-born strain of hepatitis.
However, my fears and anxiety began to subside as I actually read through the entirety of the articles I was reading and began to reflect on my own childhood.
I realized that the fact that I was worrying about how I affected my daughter was actually a step in the right direction.
I am certainly not a perfect parent, and I admit that I sometimes let my own childhood or my own frustrations with my status in life affect the way I parent.
Despite this, though, I am an undaunted parent who is willing to work hard to be a better parent each morning I wake up. So if you’re in the same boat (if you’re not a robot then you probably are), here is a brief survival guide for imperfect parents everywhere.
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